Starting Fresh

Well, I decided to finally document some experiences to see if I can clear my head of the thoughts swimming around in it.

At age 30, I moved back home to live with my mom while going through a not-so-traumatic divorce.

When I officially moved out at age 19, my mother finally decided she was rid of me enough that she could move out of Los Angeles, which she had always wanted to do. She has spent the last 10 years in San Francisco, which I adore but have had no familiarity with.

It's not easy to leave everything you're familiar with, and as a young adult I vowed never to do it, but I have to say that it's really not hard to fall in love with this city. I've spend the past several months settling in and getting used to living with my mom again and I'm pretty satisfied.

Moving back with my mom was a bit rocky at first. There's this innate mother-daughter connection that requires her to know where I am at all times. This bond is not so strong with distance between us, but the moment I moved back in the text messages from mother got so crazy we decided to get unlimited texting. She believed I must have been texting a gazillion times a day with other friends, but I know the truth.

Now that we've settled into a routine, all that is required is that I let her know where I'm going and what I'm doing. And if I'm out late at night, I have to tell her when I'm safe in bed (wherever that may be). At first, this was a little odd to the other people (my age) that I would hang out with. But those that have become my close friends are quite used to it and find it somewhat endearing. I've accepted that it's a lot easier than having to pay rent. :)

At 18 years old I had decided what I wanted to do and had determined that I didn't need to go to college and get a degree. I got the "back-up plan" speech, but I can be pretty stuborn-headed and once I decide on doing something, that's the way it goes.

Starting your life over at age 30 is not easy. And for me it wasn't just a new city, new friends, new hang outs and new jobs. I felt like I had just graduated high school and was trying to decide what I really wanted to do with my life. I thought about going back into entertainment and trying to do movies. But as much as I tried to get into it, I really didn't have the same passion for it. And, honestly, when you are "old" and kind of chubby, the competition is a lot more intimidating.

I sat around home for several weeks, doing some temp work in between, and watched hours and hours of TV. At some point, for whatever reason, I became inspired to have my own TV show. I didn't really think I had the makings for reality TV, and I didn't have any great ideas like pretending my kid flew away in a balloon, but I thought I'd make a really good talk show host or journalist. I love travelling. I love researching. I love adventure and challenges. I'm good at writing. I'm good at talking... It just seemed to fit.

Then....I saw a commercial for Le Cordon Bleu! What an interesting idea? I love to cook. I learned a lot about cooking from my parents and I've been doing it since I was a kid. I love watching cooking shows. And I really feel that the food industry needs a serious face-lift. I decided to blend my new-found passion to have my own TV show, with a career as a chef! (Like it hasn't been done before.) ...